The Grand Gesture

The credits come onto the screen and I find myself in a bleak mood. It wasn't a depressing ending, it wasn't even one of the tear jerking movies. I couldn't help it though, it was a dissapointment not because of the ending, but because of the lack of a whole 'art imitating life'. It followed the basic formula of every other movie out there about love. Girl meets boy. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy (or girl) betrays girl (or boy). Boy and girl break up. Boy realizes he can't live without girl, so he makes a grand gesture to prove his love. Boy and girl get back together and live happily ever after.

What they don't tell you, is the happily ever after is one of the hardest and most irritating thing you will ever do. Because what really happens after the grand gesture is the mundane existance of every day life. The mornings before work, feeding kids, feeding dogs, ironing clothes, pecks goodbye, then the housework, the cooking, the cleaning again, the laundry, the play time with kids, the throw up from kids, the clean up again... and the list just goes on. One day you wake up, and the sweet nothings that you used to have as a couple, and those grand gestures... they become just memories, the spark and fire somehow dies when the every day takes over.

How do we get past that though? I think thats why some marriages end up in divorce, because the truth is we get bitter. Our whole worlds were about each other when we started, that infatuation made you willing to take a bullet for the other person. Then one day you wake up and instead of taking a bullet, you want to shoot them because they left their soda can by the bed again and it spilled all over your freshly cleaned floor.

What needs to change to create that spark again? Reintroducing the grand gesture. The thing that happens is there is no need to impress your significant other. There is a ring on your finger, you won there is not a reason to bring home flowers randomly or to shave your legs consistently. There are no more 'movie kisses' because there simply doesn't seem to be any time to sit there and oogle at each other. So this is where you have to make the conscious choice, to nix the peck and do a full blow kiss good-bye, or to leave little love notes around the house for your significant other to find, or even just send a random text in middle of the day saying you love them and to have a good day. Little gestures like that, become the grand gestures you need to keep a marriage going. Because the truth is, even though some of us may deny it, women want to be with the guy in the movie, and men want that girl in the movie too. When you're in public, dont be afraid to make your significant other feel special, if its asking them to dance (even if you just plain can't dance) or grabbing their hand even when it seems odd to do it. Changing your mindset, to make yourself believe that you never 100% have your spouse, will spark a competition with someone that doesn't even exist and make things that much more interesting. So good luck! I'm going to start my small gesture and hope for the best!

Later days!

Stasia