No Excuses.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.


Gandhi's words couldn't be more true, not just in the 'big picture' aspect but the personal aspect as well. Be the change you wish to see in your world. I look over the last year and see, it really is time for me to change my world. I have felt mundane and been dissapointed in myself for a few things. It has all boiled down to excuses I make of why I'm not doing or persuing certain things. So this year, the change I am going to embark on for my world is to not make any more excuses. Its a simple enough concept but its complicated in the execution. I won't except my own excuses anymore in every aspect of my life, like why I don't work out, or why the laundry isn't done, or why I didn't sketch that idea or why the story idea in my head isn't on paper. Its so easy to let the little things in life stop you. There are the excuses of blaming other people for you being the way you are, the too tired, and the just plain don't want to do it excuses too. But this is going to be a year of change for me and my world. I am going to push myself to be the best that I can be at everything, No Excuses.

The Grand Gesture

The credits come onto the screen and I find myself in a bleak mood. It wasn't a depressing ending, it wasn't even one of the tear jerking movies. I couldn't help it though, it was a dissapointment not because of the ending, but because of the lack of a whole 'art imitating life'. It followed the basic formula of every other movie out there about love. Girl meets boy. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy (or girl) betrays girl (or boy). Boy and girl break up. Boy realizes he can't live without girl, so he makes a grand gesture to prove his love. Boy and girl get back together and live happily ever after.

What they don't tell you, is the happily ever after is one of the hardest and most irritating thing you will ever do. Because what really happens after the grand gesture is the mundane existance of every day life. The mornings before work, feeding kids, feeding dogs, ironing clothes, pecks goodbye, then the housework, the cooking, the cleaning again, the laundry, the play time with kids, the throw up from kids, the clean up again... and the list just goes on. One day you wake up, and the sweet nothings that you used to have as a couple, and those grand gestures... they become just memories, the spark and fire somehow dies when the every day takes over.

How do we get past that though? I think thats why some marriages end up in divorce, because the truth is we get bitter. Our whole worlds were about each other when we started, that infatuation made you willing to take a bullet for the other person. Then one day you wake up and instead of taking a bullet, you want to shoot them because they left their soda can by the bed again and it spilled all over your freshly cleaned floor.

What needs to change to create that spark again? Reintroducing the grand gesture. The thing that happens is there is no need to impress your significant other. There is a ring on your finger, you won there is not a reason to bring home flowers randomly or to shave your legs consistently. There are no more 'movie kisses' because there simply doesn't seem to be any time to sit there and oogle at each other. So this is where you have to make the conscious choice, to nix the peck and do a full blow kiss good-bye, or to leave little love notes around the house for your significant other to find, or even just send a random text in middle of the day saying you love them and to have a good day. Little gestures like that, become the grand gestures you need to keep a marriage going. Because the truth is, even though some of us may deny it, women want to be with the guy in the movie, and men want that girl in the movie too. When you're in public, dont be afraid to make your significant other feel special, if its asking them to dance (even if you just plain can't dance) or grabbing their hand even when it seems odd to do it. Changing your mindset, to make yourself believe that you never 100% have your spouse, will spark a competition with someone that doesn't even exist and make things that much more interesting. So good luck! I'm going to start my small gesture and hope for the best!

Later days!

Stasia

Battle With the Mirror

My daughter is almost 7 months now and I've lost a lot of the weight I gained when I was pregnant, but the problem isn't with the weight its with the excess skin that has cause a flap on my stomach. Now, I've never had the flat stomach but the excess flap and the stretch marks have made it to where the thought of putting my bikini on again almost makes me sick. I've started to work out with my kinect, I've cut back on sugar, but I honestly don't think that the lovely flap with ever leave. For the longest time I would find myself tearing up over the loss of my pre-baby body... I never boasted to have a model figure but I had a pretty good shape. I could eat what I wanted and still not battle with my jeans like I have been.

But something hit me recently.. I was at home having a normal day, dancing with my vaccum and I caught my reflection in a mirror in our hallway. My hair was a mess, my glasses were at the tip of my nose, my eyebrows needed waxing, I had baby food on my shirt, and my jeans weren't fittng right. I realized, I had changed since I had gotten pregnant. Not just physically, but mentally too. I used to get excited about a new pair of shoes, now I get excited about coupons and planners. I had battled so much with my reflection wanting to get back to the person I was before I had had my daughter. But the truth is children change you, they're supposed to change you; mentally, emotionally, and even physically. So, as I stared at myself in the mirror four words came to me that made all the difference in my life 'I'm bringing sexy back'. Sexy to me is no longer the stilletto heals, (although I do find myself wearing them when I clean...they're good for your legs!) or about having the bikini ready body. Sexy has become making sure my daughter has a smile on her face, and that she is getting everything she needs and has an environment that she is safe in. Sexy isn't going to the bars and staying out til the crack of dawn, but waking up at the crack of dawn to a smiling little girl thats ready to start her day.

So I'm bringing sexy back, and redefining it. I'm a mother, and to me, that is sexy. So, all you mom's out there, new and old. Bring sexy back! Better yet, lets redefine it by raising our children the best we can despite the baby food stained shirts, and the crack of dawn mornings, we are still women and we are still beautiful!

Romantic Nothings

Valentine's day has come and gone and now its the first week of March. I can't say that this one was unforgettable. I did get a rose that is preserved in 24k gold, which is sweet because we have this unsaid rule that if he brings me flowers I should ask him what he's done.. so a 24k rose is different than a typical flower, it doesn't die. But that came to me in the afternoon, and that night was a typical night... nothing spectacular to really note about. Dont get me wrong the rose was really sweet but I guess I'm just a sap, wishing for a bit more romantic zing. I guess after three years of marriage romance kind of goes out the window.
I guess I'm a hopeless though when it comes to romance, thinking back to my first valentines day where I actually spent it with a boy, he brought me to an art show. It was rather fantastic. Then Matt and I's first valentines day married. He tried to take me to Niagara Falls...in February. That turned out to be an adventure, and a story in and of itself. But now I'm missing the romance.
The truth of the matter is, its not just about the Valentine's day romances. Its the every day romances. Because not every girl will admit it, but we do really want the guy in the movies. We want to be swept off our feet, whether it's the first date or the 20th anniversary. We want to feel special. Something seems to happen to relationships after a while of being together, that fire fades and next thing you know you're legs haven't been shaved for two weeks because there seems to be no point if you're wearing long pants....
So guys, if you're reading this take a mental note: Work on keeping that spark alive!!! Instead of sending the random reminder texts about dinner or something, send her a random 'I love you'. and Girls, you can do the same, work to keep the spark alive...shave those legs! You never know, it could really help a relationship that seems to be nothing but arguments turn back into that fire.

Later days, Later times, and Many adventures ahead!

Never Better

The lined pages fall before me and I cant help but have a smile rise to my face, as I read a journal from so long ago. Memories flood my mind and overwhelm every thought. The days of crowded hallways and social disasters. The days of the innocent. The days of excitement over simple things and laughing so hard tears came to my eyes. The days of the young. My old journal is simple, but its filled with so many complexities of my past. I cant help but turn the pages slowly, recalling every moment I've lived.
Its interesting to look back at life, back at the paths you've stepped into. Its intriguing to dissect just how you got into the spot you're in. Some steps make you, some steps completely break you. You find yourself losing direction, or you find yourself with life's compass knowing exactly which way you want to go.
I have been one of the luckiest girls in life. Surrounded by an amazing family who, even in the roughest times, were a great support to me. True friends that were always there for me, and to this day some still are. Its amazing to watch change fold right before you in the pages of the past. Comparing the todays to the yesterdays, seeing that things have changed dramatically, but some things will always be the same.
Whether it be dancing crazy dressed in funny outfits with one of my best friends, or driving down the freeway with music blasting so loud and screaming at the top of my lungs just because it was a bad day. Or even something simpler, like my philosophies on relationships or what I did to pass the time. People miss their high school days, their days of crowded hallways and proms. Their days of crushes and homework. For some its the days of detention and parties. But, me, I don't miss it at all. I have never been happier than the days I am living now. I spent most of my high school days just waiting for it to be over. I never really fit in, most of all because I was afraid to let out the real me.
All throughout high school, I was what everyone wanted me to be, to an extent. I never let anyone into my head, and never let anything in my head...out. I trusted very few people and even then, there were moments and times that I didn't tell those few, a thing. Today, I look in the mirror and I like who I see, the girl I'm staring at, is the girl I've always wanted to be.
Back in the day, I was so innocent and so single-minded. I was full of fear. Scared of what people thought of me, and scared of taking any kind of risks. I had a relationship with a boy, but we were pretty much friends with the boyfriend/girlfriend title. Dating 9 months and never kissing...it was my fault. I couldn't let him get close, even physically. Everyone was to be kept at arms length. After we ended our charade of a relationship, I realized that I wasn't letting myself feel anything at all. I wanted to just block out pain, but I ended up blocking out every other feeling too.

When graduation finally came about, I was never happier to take a step forward. I was letting go of a lot of pain, frustration, and most of all, my fear. I was ready to jump off any cliff that came my way. Life had thrown so much at me, why not take on a little more?
I guess you can say my life changed with fireworks. The Fourth of July at Warped Tour, I had met this boy a couple days before. He was different than the boys that I had crushed on. Oh no, I actually talked to him. Girls like me, they stayed away from boys completely. But with him, it was different. I was ready to jump, to take that risk of letting someone get close. He wasn't afraid to put his arms around me, to hold me close and keep me safe from crazy moshers. He was quick to smile and full of confidence. When it was time for me to leave, to take my best friend home and call it a night. He was standing there, saying his goodbyes, I was so nervous standing in front of him. Then it all went away, and I knew we would be okay, with me just being...me. So, I let go. And he kissed me. Then the fireworks started, in my mind and in the sky.
From then on, I took more steps to just letting go. Oh and that boy? I have the luck of calling him my husband and the father of my child. He has been a guide in my life's path. And now, he is walking beside me and helping me guide a path for our daughter. So, yeah, I don't ever want to go back to the days of crowded hallways and homework. I don't want to go back to my days of fear. No, I'm ready to step forward and stop being so scared of everything. I've never been happier,and I'm pretty sure the best for me is yet to come.